Are you so spiritual that you are no earthly good?

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Inquiry subject for 12 Steps and The Work group dealt with how to bring my spiritual experience to the “real” world.

Example: I complain about my husband being such a miser with money, always ready to take from others, but not willing to give. When I complain about him, I become critical and angry. I make fun of him and try to shame him into doing what I think he should do–be more giving. I see myself as someone who gives freely. I make him my enemy. My stressful thought: “He is a taker.” During inquiry, it hit me like a ton of bricks: When I act mean and demeaning to my husband, I am the taker; I take away his self esteem; I take away everything positive about him. It is my opinion and thought that creates the problem.

Now, here is the point. So what if I have this big a-ha moment. What good is it? NONE, whatsoever, unless I live the turnaround.

In a nutshell, the Bible states: “Faith without works is dead.”
Alcoholics Anonymous states: “The spiritual life is not a theory; we have to live it!”
Byron Katie states:”Self-realization is not complete until it lives as action.

So all say the same thing. And how am I doing that? Refrain from criticizing him is step 1. Step 2 is to begin to look for and point out the positive in him. This is how I live my turnarounds—how about you?

Alcoholics Anonymous p. 76
“We have then completed Step Seven.
Now we need more action, without which we find that “Faith without works is dead.” Let’s look at Steps Eight and Nine. … Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves.”

p. 83
“Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. We must take the lead. A remorseful mumbling that we are sorry won’t fill the bill at all. We ought to sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it, being very careful not to criticize them. Their defects may be glaring, but the chances are that our own actions are partly responsible. So we clean house with the family, asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love.”

“The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. Unless one’s family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles we think we ought not to urge them. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. They will change in time. Our behavior will convince them more than our words. We must remember that ten or twenty years of drunkenness would make a skeptic out of anyone.”

Loving What Is p. 98-100
“Self-realization is not complete until it lives as action. Live the turnarounds. When you see how you have been preaching to others, go back and make amends, and let them know how difficult it is for you to do what you always wanted them to do. Let them know the ways that you manipulated and conned them, how you got angry, used sex, used money, and used guilt to get what you wanted.

“I wasn’t always able to live the advice that I so generously held out for others to live. When I realized this, I found myself on equal ground with the people I had judged. I saw that my philosophy wasn’t so easy for any of us to live. I saw that we’re all doing the best we can. This is how a lifetime of humility begins.”
“Reporting is another powerful way I found to manifest self-realization. In the first year after I woke up to reality, I often went to the people I had been judging and shared my turnarounds and realizations. I reported only what I had discovered about my part in whatever difficulty I was experiencing.”


“Honest, nonmanipuative reporting, coupled with living amends, brings real intimacy to otherwise impossible relationships. If any people on your Worksheet are dead, make living amends through the rest of us. Give us what you would have given them, for your own sake.”

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